- For sheer guts, you can't beat Al Adamson 12/27/2002 12:00:00 AM by frankfob
Ya gotta love Al Adamson. Only he would (1) take footage from a 20-year-old movie about gorillas in diving helmets ("Robot Monster"); (2) combine it with clips from a 30-year-old movie about elephants with hair mats glued to their sides ("One Million B.C."); (3) throw in parts from a God-knows-how-old Filipino movie about midget cannibals, half man/half lobster monsters and beer-bellied Chinese cavemen with snakes growing out of their shoulders (all of the aforementioned footage being in black and white); (4) spend $2.15 shooting new "connecting" footage (in color, no less) with an apparently--to be charitable--confused John Carradine and a bunch of actors who have trouble remembering their lines (among them a vapid blonde who is so incompetent that all her dialogue is dubbed in by someone else, and who doesn't even have the decency to make up for it by getting naked); (5) put it out under at least 10 different titles; and (6) try to pass each one off as a new movie. Go, Al!
This is Al's masterwork, the film by which he will always be remembered. Orson Welles had "Citizen Kane," Michael Curtiz had "Casablanca," Francis Coppola had "The Godfather," Al Adamson has "Vampire Men of the Lost Planet." You're in heady company, Al. You deserve it.
- Another Al Adamson "masterpiece" 5/23/2000 12:00:00 AM by Casey-52
I don't care how many people voted this movie a "1" out of 10, this movie is pure entertainment! There aren't very many painful moments, lots of great, fun scenes, and of course, the Adamson trademark of "cut and paste filmmaking".
"Vampire Men of the Lost Planet" (the video title) is a bizarre combination of horror and science fiction. The opening scenes include vampires attacking people in dark alleyways and actually manage to conjure up some atmosphere before ruining it by displaying obviously fake vampire fangs and dabs of blood on necks. Watch for Adamson himself as a vampire (with plastered back hair)! Now for the real movie...or at least Adamson's part of the movie: a team of astronauts are sent to a far-off planet that is believed to have sent the vampire virus to Earth to discover how to destroy them! Of course, by the end of the movie, the mission is forgotten and presumably the vampire epidemic is still running rampant, but what comes in-between is loads of fun! What follows is a mix of Adamson's footage (the astronauts and their cavegirl guide) and a Filipino caveman movie that is surprisingly well-made. The monsters are all in the Filipino movie and are inventive, to say the least. There are great scenes of warring cave tribes, vicious cave women who fight off their attackers, snake men with snakes protruding from their skin, lobster monsters eating cavemen as they cross a lake, and a simple plotline about the warring tribes venturing to get "fire water" (oil) in a valley. John Carradine is along for the ride, but never leaves the spaceship! Vicki Volante and Robert Dix play two lovers working at the launching pad. To make matters worse (better?), most of the film is tinted a certain color, changing every few minutes (the explanation is that the planet's atmosphere has varying levels of radiation). The reason for the tinting: Adamson's footage was in color and the Filipino monster movie in B&W.
Al Adamson. What an original! His films will always remain fun to watch for generations, even if small-minded people look for something else beneath the cheap surface. There isn't, so just sit back and enjoy them!
- A Movie That Has Nothing to Do With Itself 6/16/2004 12:00:00 AM by w00f
Vampire cavemen? Sex replaced by flashing multi-colored light bulbs? Guys in dinosaur suits? A film half made of stock footage?
This isn't just bad, it's inexplicably bad. DO NOT WATCH THIS ALONE. Make sure to have a friend or two with whom you can swap wisecracks about this... this... HORROR OF THE BLOOD MONSTERS.
The end of this movie has nothing to do with the beginning. The middle has nothing to do with the end or the beginning. Not only does this planet change colors, but apparently at least one woman on it manages to change races, switching periodically back and forth between Filipino and Caucasian.
And remember, kids, the red radiation is the most dangerous to human life. Here, let me demonstrate with this spectrum gun.
WHAT THE HELL??????
- What a hoot! 4/25/2007 12:00:00 AM by Red-Barracuda
Ah, they don't make them like this any more.
Horror of the Blood Monsters is truly a crazy film. It's a biscuit-taking exercise in Z-Grade film-making of the variety that makes you say, 'I cannot believe they did this!'. It's a curious mixture of ineptness and experimentation that results in a somewhat unforgettable cinematic experience. Whether that's a good or a bad thing is entirely down to your tolerance for premier division crapola.
As has been stated many times, the film incorporates segments from a few old movies, including a Filipino caveman adventure and dinosaur film. These are linked together (loosely, to say the least) by sci-fi and horror sections, which in themselves don't seem to be connected very well either. In other words, it's a shambles. By, my word, it's a fun shambles to watch.
The story is half-hearted at best. The film-makers certainly didn't treat it with very much importance, so neither will I. Instead, I shall give a stream-of-conscious list of things that this movie contains?.
We have vampires with plastic teeth. We have narration by a madman called Brother Theodore. We have a mission-control that is run by a man and a woman and a bloke with a clipboard. We have a chain-smoking space crew lead by an ancient doctor played by a (drunk?) John Carradine. We have a space-ship made out of a bottle of detergent, the interior of which consists of a table and two extremely uncomfortable looking wooden deck-chairs. We have special-effects of the special-needs variety ? the outer space scenes would look unrealistic in an episode of The Clangers. We have an elephant with door-mats stuck to it, crap dinosaurs and space gazelles. We have crab-men, bat-men, snake-men and midgets. We have a war between good cavemen and vampire cavemen. We have a cave-woman who changes race depending on who she is on screen with at a given time. We have morally dubious brain-surgery, performed in order to allow for inter-stellar communications. We have epic battles of extremely badly choreographed proportions. We have a space age psychedelic sex machine. We have an alien atmosphere that changes colours constantly in order for the movie to incorporate old black and white footage seamlessly with the colour bits, or because of radiation or something. Generally speaking, we have a lot of things going on in this movie.
It's a laugh-riot.
It goes beyond so bad it's good ? it's so bad it's experimental. I would say, celebrate it. It should cheer you up.
- ...put three old films in a blender. Garnish and serve. 4/14/2005 12:00:00 AM by EyeAskance
A ragged, befuddling palimpsest comprised from the detritus of no fewer than three unrelated pre-existing films, all shuffled together within a framework of "new" scenes(added, I suppose, to bring some degree of cohesion to the amalgamated mess at hand). Success? ....erm....hardly. In fact, watching this tatterdemalion patchwork is like staring at one of those damn squiggly-dot pictures...eventually, you might catch a fleeting image of a snow-boarder or something, but was it really worth the headache in the end?
Well, there is actually some sub-atomic particle of a story straining to emerge from all the disorder...as I see it, there's a spaceship that has landed on a planet which is the origin of all vampires, as well as home to various other predatory monstrosities and a tribe of peaceful cave-people. The bizarre atmospheric conditions of this planet cause everything to appear as color-tinted black-and-white, the tint randomly changing from blue to red to green and so forth. During one scene set inside the spaceship, an astronaut is looking through a periscope-type of device. The view presents a grid with marked north, south, east, and west coordinates. I'm certainly no science brain, but don't those points of direction become "lost" once you have left the Earth? Hmmm...whatever.
John Carradine is in this flick. A little. He looks sort of embarrassed...he knows very damn well that this is a petrified turd of a film, but as the patron saint of undiscriminating "any old thing for a paycheck" movie stars, he sails through the muck like an old pro.
He would have stripped to a thong at your bachelorette party for fifty bucks. I guarantee it.