- Wish I could give it a 0 11/11/2018 12:00:00 AM by a-c-c
Any review of this movie above a 1 must be suspect. Either they didn't see it or it's their first movie ever and have no standards to base a good movie on.
The acting is non-existent, the story is incomprehensible, and everyone just plods around the house such that if you watch it at 3x speed it looks like they're moving normally. Incidentally, if you watch it at 3x speed, it's only 27 minutes long which is what the running time should be.
I could not give this a letter grade, instead I'd say "Incomplete", and everyone knows the worst thing you can see on a transcript is an "Incomplete."
- This was the worst crap I seen in 5 years 5/17/2018 12:00:00 AM by draftdubya
This movie is for you if you like birds taking a dump on your ice cream cone.
- When the credits prominently show off that the director has a PhD you know it's going to be a terrible movie 8/10/2018 12:00:00 AM by bachemar
A "horror" movie with almost no scares and actors that can barely even make their enjoyment at making out with attractive women believable. Watched it for "free" with a relative's Amazon Prime and still felt ripped off. At least most low budget horror movies try to make up for it by throwing a couple buckets of blood around, but there is not a ton gore in this movie. And what there is is not terribly well done. The titular "doll" spends most of the movie creepily staring, creepily rocking in a rocking chair or creepily and gently bonking her head against walls, windows, etc. Not exactly what nightmares are made of. At least the various actors/characters are so annoying and unlikeable that you are glad when they're killed off. The plot, of course, is thinner than tissue paper and with no redeeming factors to elevate it in any way. 2 rating for the audacity of the director to actually get people to cough up money to make this turkey. Please don't waste your time.
(And yeah....the director doesn't even go the distance to make the pentagrams correctly)
- Don't waste your time 10/20/2019 12:00:00 AM by Horrorsnob
Everything about this movie was terrible. In fact it was so terrible, I can't fathom it having any good reviews. Casting the human barbie, Valeria Luckyanova, as a doll is an interesting concept but the execution just wasn't there.
- Horrible movie... 6/5/2019 12:00:00 AM by paul_haakonsen
This was a laughable movie, hands down. This movie was horrible. Just horrible.
And I actually knew that beforehand sitting down to watch it. I mean, a movie with someone as shallow as Valeria Lukyanova, being made famous for being mentally unbalanced enough to thinking she can be a doll, just doesn't really make for much of a foundation of a solid movie. And then of course, with the likes of Ron Jeremy on the support role list, nah...
Granted, I will say that the idea of the movie was interesting and definitely had some aspects to the storyline that had potential. Lots of untapped potential here actually, because Valeria Lukyanova was about as talented as a glass of still water, and also writer / director Susannah O'Brien just had so little to work with here, by her own hand mind you.
But in a way, I suppose the utter lack of acting talent and the fact that someone can build a career on being unstable enough to thinking one is a doll served the movie in a way. Because the lack of acting skills, emotions, facial expressions, or anything definitely helped to portray Valeria Lukyanova as a golem - a doll of sorts. But it was most definitely also an anchor around the movie, dragging it down, because it quickly became unappealing and downright annoying to look at her fishy-dead expression for prolonged extends of time.
Some of the scenes were actually constructed nicely enough, but were just washed away by a horrible script and even worse acting performances. Mind you, not all were terrible here, I am not generalizing that much. But Lukyanova and Jeremy were just like thorns in your eyes.
I am sure that hardcore fans of Valeria Lukyanova will find some enjoyment in this movie. But come on, let's just face facts, being a fan of hers is admittance to being fascinated with narcissism and being a "fan" of her solely for her outer appearance.
I can't claim to have had any hopes for the 2017 movie "The Doll", so I weren't disappointed. This was a movie that came and went without even as much as a single raised voice or anything. I am rating this movie two out of ten stars, solely because it didn't have that unfathomable low budget movie presentation to it. At least they put some effort into the production value.